Welcome to my silly life...mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.

I don’t usually blog about things that are really and truly personal. I am sure I will one day. I need a place to vent. I think I would surprise a lot of people with the things I keep in this head. Well, maybe if I could only remember half of it.

Tracy Lawrence once told me that “you find out who your friends are”. Well, I have to say he was absolutely right. I know I don’t really have a best friend, or any real group of good girlfriends like most people do, but I still feel that I am a good friend. At least, if you let me. I just don’t have the greatest social skills, or a good line of bs to keep you entertained. HOWEVER, I would do anything for someone I consider a friend. I have recently found that I have a dear friend and I just keep telling myself, “I KNEW IT”. I tried to thank her profusely, and can only hope she knows I mean it. I am forever in her debt.

My father-in-law is in the hospital. He had major heart surgery and is now in ICU. That’s the only real detail I feel comfortable sharing for now. He has been in the hospital since this past Wednesday. Needless to say this has been a trying time for everyone. I have learned a lot more about a person’s heart than I ever thought I’d know. I also never thought I’d be so excited to hear my father-in-law say “Gimme some sugar”. But I was. Beautiful words. It has been such a rollercoaster of a week (and it hasn’t even really been a week). I have learned many things about many people (that I will keep to myself - for now). I have also learned a lot about myself, though these things are not necessarily “news” to most people. I am too tenderhearted and sensitive, take things too personally, and give too many people the benefit of the doubt. I run myself out of breath taking up for them, only to have them let me down within seconds. Well. Well. Well. What a deep subject.

I have also learned that my two girls are TROOPERS. They have sat through (wallered through, climbed furniture through…) countless hours in the hospital waiting room. I am glad they have been able to be there for a distraction for the family and friends hurrying up to wait…

I have been in search of some words of wisdom tonight and want to share a few quotes that spoke to me tonight…
--To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
--Don’t waste your breath proclaiming what is really important to you. How you spend your time says it all.
--Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.
--It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.

And just a couple of random thoughts I want to leave you with. First, I am nearly 31 years old and STILL do not feel like a grown-up. I’m beginning to think there’s no such thing. Second, I am more in love with my husband than I have ever been. Third, I hate it when I make my kids cry.

Good night from a tired, tired, hot mess of a mama.